Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
