I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
