Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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