I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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