There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
