Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
