when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
