do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
