I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
