dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
