can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
