If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize