Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize