there's paper in my vomit.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize