Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
