Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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