Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
