I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
