If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
sarcasm needs its own font
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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