Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
