oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
