no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize