Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
