even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize