I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
