Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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