life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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