Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
