I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I love you. Go after that dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
