Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need a beard to bite.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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