First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
