I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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