The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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