yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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