Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I need to align my fucking chakras
There's even glitter on my cock...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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