I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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