nut hugger
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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