if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You were trust falling into bushes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
