Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
