last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
