smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
is it fun? or sober?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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