Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
