she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
