I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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