ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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