I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
