How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
