ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
