she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
