I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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