So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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