i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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