I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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