I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
