Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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