I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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