I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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