i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize