ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
