I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And the cops told us we were all naked.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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